Who is the Inner Child?

Who is the Inner Child?

Who is the Inner Child?

An evolved perspective through my own discovery and personal awakening.


To me, the essence of the inner child is our SOUL and TRUE SELF.

Think for a moment of the arrival of a newborn baby.

They are the closest to consciousness and seeing the soul of a being as one can be.

They are the most authentic spirit and most “tangible” example of love’s energy, presence, power, purity and innocence.

They are the root meaning of unconditional love.

They hold no judgment of another.

Their life force is an energy that comes to awaken us .

They come into this world so trusting of their care takers.

They want to be loved and cared for tenderly.


And THIS same child is STILL the very CHILD  within every one of us.

It is who we all still are and looking to get back to – to experience our fullest and truest essence of self.

Yet the physical environment of this life form where our soul takes residence does not always align in keeping us safe.

These once pure newborns now ingest toxins from their external environments.

And slowly over time it starts to create a SHELL CASING (I call that the ego) around its soul to PROTECT ITSELF and ESSENCE.

This shell casing was formed to safe harbor our soul.

Which then disconnects us from our TRUTH and PURPOSE as our soul knows it has come into this life form to be and serve.

We then begin to “think”, experience and relate ourselves to the inner child in a FALSE FORM – that of a broken and wounded place within us.

The inner child who is carrying a lot of baggage from childhood conditioning, external environments, cultural / societal structures, institutions, generations past, etc, which has been generations of unconsciousness was passed down to and through us.

And yes while this may become the case I do not believe it is NOT the source of the true inner child. 

Rather a construct that has been built indirectly to keep us safe.

The construct is a by-product of what we ingested, interpreted and then falsely began defining ourselves out of the distorted lens of this shell casing.

We became so enmeshed with it we could not see where the true self  was because the false self-protected it so well.

Walls were put up to feel safe from the unconsciousness of our environment.

We begin seeing life from a distorted lens which has falsely identified our inner child through any of the following …

  • Unmet needs
  • Unattended Feelings
  • Control
  • Fear
  • Projections
  • Expectations
  • Agendas
  • Helplessness
  • Dominance
  • Pain
  • Shame
  • Guilt
  • Criticism
  • Lack
  • Anxiety
  • Conditioning
  • Belief systems
  • Turmoil
  • Confusion
  • Anger
  • Trauma


This distortion then becomes a “universal disease which I call IBS” a.k.a – “Inner Bullshit”…

As we continue to awaken, we discover what is no longer serving us.

There is an intensive cleaning/ detox that we must go through.

And there is a great desire to be and attract like-minded souls and energy so we don’t feel alone and we feel supported.

To ultimately give ourselves permission to feel what we have been suppressing all these years.

To rid the toxins that have hindered our true happiness and have kept us from healing in a way our soul most needs.

When we come to realize this, we don’t want perpetuate the pain and patterns with our children and loved ones.

And if we want to cease the pattern and pathology that we have unknowingly been living we must consciously choose better from this point forward.

The first step of any change is awareness followed by one’s willingness to take action.

Change equals an expansion of our consciousness where we become consistently aware of all aspects of our life.

Building our conscious muscle.

Attuning inwardly.

Inner reflection.

More pausing and patience.

Staying on our breath.

Creating moments of silence and stillness.

Showing up courageously, boldly, bravely and vulnerably.

Taking responsibility and ownership for any missteps we have made.

And recognizing where we have been so steadfast through the ego to protect ourselves.

And turning the lens inward and letting the essence of our own soul to be found – not forgotten – so it no longer needs to remain hidden or layered by lies or harbor / suppress out of fear.


How do we set the inner child free? 

We need to become our own investigators.

We need to get really in the muck of understanding the contaminants we have been carrying all this time.

And we need to speak to that part of the child  that is still within each of us and ask that child what they need?

Ask them where they are still carrying the pain and how they need to be seen and heard?

Where they are still feeling lack?

We need to step more into what will continue to empower and enliven our inner child.

For the road map of our own soul is one specific to us only and when we start to become more intimate with that space within us, we can truly be in the truth of that – irrespective of anyone on the outside or the external that we have been following this whole time.

Letting our inner child know it is no longer theirs to carry or hold onto.

We can then begin to see the inner child as our …      

  •             Inner Champion
  •             Inner Coach
  •             Inner Captain
  •             Inner Conductor
  •             Inner Channel

We are our own Inner Compass and our soul has always known the direction that we need to be navigating.

We have the inner power to change the frequency within ourselves so we can be more clear in the connection of what it is our soul is trying to speak to us.

We always stay open and curious as we keep going through and discovering who we truly are.

We give our inner child the permission to no longer hide from its own beauty, essence, and purpose.

And when we allow this inner child to return home to the soul of itself this is where we can witness its freedom.


Let’s take the caterpillar and butterfly analogy as a metaphor

Had the caterpillar never experienced the struggle of its own emergence, we could never really fully feel or witness the beauty of its true existence.

If every time the caterpillar stopped because it was hard and painful – and just wanted to give up – imagine all the butterflies we would miss enjoying its beauty.

So perhaps we re-frame the way we see our own struggles as that as of a caterpillar.

Who is morphing and moving through all the ebbs and flows of life and needing to experience the struggle so we can rediscover our soul and own wings.

Not about pointing fingers or placing blame.

Instead an invitation to see from the lens of self-love and compassion all that we intoxicated without permission.

No longer ours to own and it was never our parents or the others’ to carry as well.

They just did not know differently.

But now we do.

And we get to be co-creators in the changes we wish to be in this world.


And so …

From the depths of our respective pain to the heights of our limitless possibilities, we have one thing in common at the core of our being.

It is the hunger to awaken to our soul.

To return home to our true self.

To seek the truth of our existence.

To remove the coat of armor they have been wearing from a young age.

To shield themselves from the unconsciousness they have ingested upon entering this life plane.

And ultimately to set our inner child free from all it has been carrying.

May we hold compassion and gratitude for their strength in the struggle.

For their perseverance in the pain.

For their courage in the chaos.

And for screaming loud enough to finally get us to wake up and make the necessary changes going forward.

Showing up to explore, discover, uncover and unfold into our highest self.

Letting them know they are SAFE, SEEN, WORTHY, WHOLE, ENOUGH and LOVED.

Giving them permission to live THE AUTHENTIC life they came here to live.



After choosing to leave the corporate world in 2012 when her daughter turned one, Sandra Fazio was inspired by Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday interview with Dr. Shefali Tsabary, Clinical Psychologist and New York Times best-selling author of The Conscious Parent and The Awakened Family.

Instantly recognizing this as a message from The Universe, after being coached by Dr. Shefali and becoming a conscious parent and parenting coach herself, Sandra originally founded The Conscious Parent Blog, through which she offers fresh perspective centered around how children can help parents “grow themselves up” into more fully conscious human beings.

Dedicated to helping raise our personal and collective self-awareness, Sandra is also a practicing Conscious Parent & Life Coach and Human Design Guide, Author and Speaker and can be reached further for one-on-one sessions or speaking opportunities at: sandrafazio.com.

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