Last night and through this morning, I had consciously decided to engage in a long-thread of posts within another parenting group (which I rarely do and that seemingly displayed much discord between each parent’s points of views and with many “egos” at play), yet I was called and compelled to try and widen the scope of the conversation – sharing my thoughts, perspectives and insights on that of becoming a more conscious parent – inviting parents to look within themselves as opposed to trying to “fix” their children.
I remained honest, open and vulnerable (not knowing what I would see in response) and surprisingly (or not – still part of my own naivety), the subsequent posts were far less in alignment with what I had hoped would bring more connection. Instead, I instantly felt a surge of defensiveness and more closed-mindedness in the few people that chose to reply.
Before I responded back (really staying conscious to my intention, recognizing any impact to my own ego and taking a neutral stance), I wanted to make sure I did not end up in a “battling match” with individuals on a topic we obviously all feel very passionate about. So I invited them to watch Dr. Shefali’s Ted Talk (provided the link) and stayed encouraging and heart-centered, ultimately remaining true to myself.
Shortly after, I fell upon Dr. Shefali’s Facebook post from today and knew this was a message I was supposed to hear loud and clear. Not just for the latter mentioned but for every other part in my life – including some very personal matters of the heart that I am enduring at this moment with my mom, whose health is very fragile (both physically, emotionally and mentally). That’s for another day to share.
Below is what Dr. Shefali had to share – if you have not already seen this yourself. I have printed this out and posted it in a visual place for me to look at daily to serve as a reminder and affirmation to my being. So powerful, eloquent, truthful, thought-provoking and enlightening. May we all continue to grow through her wisdom and more so through the wisdom that truly lies within each of us as we awaken to it more.
“We get so obsessed in getting others to understand us, to hear, see and validate us. If you are wrapped up in this spiral – pause. Stop for a moment and ask: “maybe this is beyond the other’s emotional literacy or spiritual education!” It is quite likely that you are trying to draw blood from a stone and resenting the stone for not giving. Try letting go, accepting and more than anything: settling into the wholeness of your own validation. When you go within your silence you will discover your own witness. This witness is more than sufficient. It is mighty.” – Dr. Shefali Tsabary