This has been a work-in-progress acceptance for many years for myself yet is becoming much more clear and definitive in my being in my “wiser” years. Something about having a child, for me, has allowed me to embrace not proving myself to others or care what others think to the extent I once allowed. It does not come from a place of defiance or arrogance but from a place of peace and resolve within myself.
As if shedding my old skin and allowing the new skin of motherhood gave me permission to transform into this acceptance more easily, confidently and knowingly. Motherhood in particular has elevated a sense of self-responsibility for me to truly own all of my being….the good, the bad and the indifferent. To show up as best as I know I am capable for my child, I must first acknowledge the areas in my life that I wish to grow and do better so I can in turn be the example for my child. I have learned to establish boundaries in my own life for caring what others think – only in a positive and effective way. If I know it is coming from a place of love or support than I welcome that with open arms. If I sense it comes from a place of negativity, envy, jealousy than I do not allow it to enter my essence.
As for proving myself to others, I’ve learned that this use to stem from a place of insecurity more than anything and limited self-beliefs. Now my proving is to myself, my child and my family and all with good intention and purpose. I’m not seeking validation as I once used to. I have come to know and love who I am and strive to be more of what God has intended to do for my life without any justification or apologies to anyone.
As much as I want to shield my daughter from having to go through the hard cycles of life, I know she will so that she can grow through her own journey and evolve with a true sense of herself, first starting from the solid foundation she is given at home that she can always hold true to her heart. My hope is that through sharing my own wisdom, truths, self-discoveries and experiences … she will find comfort and peace more quickly than I did.
What areas in your life do you consciously feel you are proving yourself – to others? Are you staying authentic to yourself in your journey or caring too much about what others think about you more than you think about yourself?