When I got curious I discovered how my daughter really felt …

When I got curious I discovered how my daughter really felt …

When I got curious I discovered how my daughter really felt …

GET CURIOUS WITH YOUR KIDS AND CREATE AN EVEN STRONGER CONNECTION….

So I want to share a very powerful connection / exercise / experience I had with my 6.5 year old daughter this morning.

As we were doing her at-home Brain Balance exercises (which we have been doing for a year now – hum drum to say the least – but pushing through them and getting creative at every turn where we can), she mentioned something about “when I am angry” – which got me curious. I saw this as an instant divine invitation and opportunity – being that I am taking part in Dr. Shefali and GoAwesome’s wonderful Anger Quest 7-Week Course  – to lean into my curiosity and learn from my daughter’s perspective what and how “things” appear to her.

So I began to play along an starting with this first question below which then lead to an unfolding of so many other wonderful (deconstructing questions) and ultimately leaving me awestruck at the way my daughter so brilliantly articulated her insights and feelings. I remained opened, ready and willing to receive whatever she “threw” my way – nothing personal to be taken. A way to allowing my daughter to see and feel not only her own voice and feelings but know that I see and feel them too and they matter to me and that she matters to me ….

ME: What does it look like when mommy is angry?
DAUGHTER: “Okay, stop!” (this being a phrase she “hears” me saying)

(After this first share, I offered her this …)

ME: When you see me get angry, will you stop me in that moment and show me so I know what it looks and feels like to you?
DAUGHTER: Okay

As we are engaged, eye to eye, heart to heart, I said to her okay can you answer these questions from you to mommy…

ME: I get triggered when …
DAUGHTER: You don’t listen to me
ME: Because …
DAUGHTER: Sometimes you interrupt
ME: Because I feel…
DAUGHTER: Angry
ME: Because as a child I feel…
DAUGHTER: Happy and playful but an adult feels serious (WOW, blown away was I by hearing this amazing deconstruction and I loved and hugged all over her)

NEXT QUESTIONS SHE ANSWERED…

ME: When I’m speaking I need…
DAUGHTER: My mom to listen
ME: And here is how I need her to listen to me…
DAUGHTER: Calmly so that I can feel happy again

FOLLOWED BY THESE …

ME: Interrupting to me means…
DAUGHTER: Angryness
ME: My feelings are important because
DAUGHTER: They matter to me (triple wowed!)
ME: I have most fun with my mom when …
DAUGHTER: When she plays with me

Try these with your own children, lean into the discomfort so you can discover the true jewels of your authentic relationship with each other.

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