A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog on 5 Questions Every Parent Needs To Ask Their Child. Now I shift gears and share some thoughts in which to ponder around the 5 Questions Every Parent Needs to Ask Themselves.
In terms of our own adult life – we, like our children, interface in multiple relationships (via spouse or partner, co-workers, friendships, neighbors) and over time we grow inevitably frustrated with anyone of them and may even start to retreat. Why? Maybe our energies have been zapped, we are feeling more disconnected, there is lack of communication, a lot of egoic agendas on the table, no one is listening to us anymore and we are slowly pulling away from our authentic being. While we, in some way, have contributed to all moving parts that are erupting within our emotional inner terrain, we have also made choices through our relationships which plays a big role in how we show up alive and kicking or deflated and burned out. We can blame others (including our children) for our frustrations or we can take an inward look and change the direction of our inner compass that will better serve us and others around. This is the power of connecting to our inner voice.
Well this is how our own children / teens often feel with us much of the time. They have a lot of their own daily minutia and feel the need to pull away from us. Their daily trials may not seem like such a big deal to us but it matters to them and therein lies the opportunity for us to connect. It’s part of their life cycle and self-growth process. They have equal needs and are often conflicted with all the “noise” around them – both externally and internally (at home). So in an effort to “clean house”, and connect better with our children we must first connect with ourselves. Here are 5 Questions Every Parent Needs To Ask Themselves:
- How did I connect to my own inner child feelings today?
- Did I honor my child’s feelings today?
- What is weighing heaviest on my heart in this moment?
- What is life asking me to do differently?
- What keeps showing up (repetitive patterns) that is calling me to make a positive change?
When we start with ourselves on any level, we create connection inwardly to our own inner child. We honor that voice within our inner child self that has been long forgotten due to the minutia of life. That voice, which has been stuffed down so far, has been surrounded by all the garbage we’ve collected over the years and it requires some deep decluttering. It is often distorted, dysfunctional and deafening to the real truth. Add this to our day-in, day-out living and responsibilities, raising our children, working full-time, feeding our families, paying bills, running errands, caring for our elders and it’s no wonder why all havoc can break loose in a household and communication breaks down between our children, spouses and even gets hostile at times. It feels like there simply is no time to breathe, let alone take a deep breath and go within to nurture our needs. But it’s a necessity if we want to evolve as human beings and stay connected to our children.
Getting real with ourselves and asking the hard questions that we have been pushing aside or ignoring for far too long is when our essence receives the gift of light and truth to rise up and help rise us higher. These are starting questions that you can begin to get comfortable with and soon you will find more questions surfacing from inside you longing to be heard and answered. Go befriend your Self.